A Clean House

I went to my sister-in-law's wedding shower Saturday. Watching her open all her gifts for their new home made me think back to 3 years ago when I was doing the same thing. Back then I remember thinking about how I was going to make such a warm and inviting home. It would be easy to keep clean and always look nice.

Then life happened...

I'm not always a good housekeeper. When the mood strikes me I'll really get to it and knock out some cleaning, but sometimes it takes a while for me to find that mood. Last week I really got to thinking about our home. Now that I'm a SAHM (which I'm LOVING btw) I have a lot more time to put into my home. Ok with 5 month twins I might not have a lot of time, but I've got some. So I searched the interwebs for some advice on a good cleaning schedule.

I needed help in scheduling because that's how I am. I thrive off of a schedule. After an afternoon searching while the girls slept I found the perfect thing for me. I've done it for a week now and it helps me feel like I actually accomplished something at the end of the day.

In case you are like me and need that schedule here is mine. Feel free to take it and tweak it for your own home.

Daily:

Make the bed

Wash the dishes

Pick up clutter (clothes, shoes, toys, papers, etc.)

Laundry ( I have a different load for each day M-Morgan, T-Liz, W-R+K, TR-towels, F-linens)

Weekly

Monday- clean floors ~ vacuum, sweep, mop every room

Tuesday- scrub down the bathrooms ~ tub, shower, toilets, counter, and mirror

Wednesday- wash the windows

Thursday- dust

Friday- clean the kitchen, disinfect counters, wipe appliances, clean microwave

Saturday- disinfect toys, door knobs, soft surfaces. Febreeze beds, curtains, rugs.

Monthly

1. Clean out fridge & front of cabinets

2. Vacuum the couch

3. Change air filter

4. Check smoke alarm batteries

5. Spot clean walls

6. Vacuum car

Quarterly

1. Clean exterior doors & patio

2. Wash curtains & blinds

3. Clean baseboards

4. Clean out closets

Confession of a Twin Mom

I confess that some days I hold one of my girls more than the other.

I confess sometimes I give my girls paci before they get fussy to prevent fussiness from happening.

I confess I sleep til 8 even though I say I'll stay up after 6 when the girls wake up for the first time.

I confess that bed time is the best part of my day.

I confess that I give Kate a stuffed animal at naptime even though the experts say not too...that's the only way she'll go to sleep.

I confess that I take a shower at 3 pm everyday.

I confess that I'm not looking forward to babyfood mess.

I confess that I scan pinterest.com and facebook sometimes when I should be playing with the girls.

I confess that I look forward to my runs and grocery shopping for some baby free time.

Ok there is my confessions...what's yours?

4 Months

I'm learning that life as a mom of twins means things don't get done quick. In fact it takes a long time to finish projects or work on extra things like my blog and pictures. So I spent today ignoring my messy bedroom to edit the 4 month pictures I took of the girls. I love my camera and wish I could take a class to get better at photography (that's a whole other blog post in itself). My idea I've had is to take pics of the girls for each month "birthday" in these big floppy hats we inherited.

Rose is my physical girl. She loves to stand on her legs with help from Mom & Dad of course. She also has a better time when on her belly. Don't get me started on tummy time! This week she rolled over for the first time but hasn't done it again.

Rose has learned to grab her toes when she is on her back. She also is the better sleeper of the two, and always sleeps spread eagle. She loves to be in the jumper and moving around. I think she might be the first to crawl, we'll see. Oh and she still sticks that tongue out all the time.

Kate is my talking girl. That girl can squeal. Cute when she's happy, effective when she's not. She loves being silly with her Daddy and will laugh and talk to him. She loves her new toy that plays music and will yell at it when it's not playing.

I think Kate will be our hard head. She has good neck control, but don't put her on her belly. She refuses to lift that head up! But once you lift her up and talk to her you see those big blues.

I think both girls are going to keep the blue eyes. They only keep getting lighter. They are both getting so big. I know I'm prejudice, but they are both beautiful babies. Everyday is a new adventure and we're looking forward to our 5th month.

Rose=13lbs 1/2oz & 24in Kate=13lbs 10oz & 24in

Here's a link to the rest of their 4 Month pics on Picasa.

My Rant on Coupons

I've been trying my best to get into couponing. Since I quit my job to stay home with the girls money has been tight and I thought coupons could give us some help. Couponing is everywhere. I hear about people paying $20 for $100 worth of groceries, what's not to love about that? So once the girls were born and I got into a rhythm I started buying the Sunday paper and clipping away. That's when I first noticed the problem.

It seemed like I was only clipping 4 maybe 5 coupons. Most of them are for things I don't buy. Nobody eats Fruit by the foot or buys hair coloring in this house. I kept at it cause that's what everyone told me. Now I have used a few coupons, but nothing that really astonished me by my savings.

So I'll give it another month to see if it gets any better, but I'm pretty convinced that couponing is not working for me. I get more frustrated with it then it works for me.

What I'm Listening To...Now

I absolutely LOVE Pandora.com. For those of you that don't know about this little gem of the Internet (do you live under a rock?) it's an online radio station. Type in an artist, song, genre that you like and it will play that plus similar artist you may be interested in. Back in the day you could listen without interuption, but now they have commercials. So what do I listen to? Here is my top 10...for now. Last month it was different and next month will be different too.

Starting from the bottom:

#10 - Pat Benatar - Because Love is a Battlefield and we stand heartache to heartache

#9 - Children's Radio - For those times I sing to the girls and need a little help remembering kids songs.

#8 - Katy Perry - I don't like pop that much, but this girl can sing...good running music.

#7 - Jim Gaffigan - Love me some stand up. Good for long trips.

#6 - Adele - I like to listen to this to relax at the end of the day.

#5 - Band of Horses - When I feel like indie music, but not hippie.

#4 - Glee - Morgan hates it, but I'm a Gleek.

#3 - Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin - Long name but a great band.

#2 - Beatles - I skip anything not Beatles that comes on this station.

#1 - Mumford & Sons - Hands down most played station on my profile. I listen to this station cleaning house, running, driving, anything!

Some honorable mentions that show up pretty regular: Weezer, Johnny Cash, & Jack Johnson.

Three Months Old

I cannot believe my girls are three months old today. Where has the time gone? Right now the girls are so smiley. They smile when I wake them up in the morning. They smile when we talk silly to them. And they are starting to "ahh" and "cooo" They love when Morgan and I repeat what they say. It's absolutely adorable.

Kate is Daddy's girl. I think she looks a lot like Morgan, but she also does a few things that remind me of him. For one thing she wakes up like him. She opens her eyes fast and looks around a little confused figuring out where she is.

Kate also is the more vocal. She loves to coo and will stare at your tongue and try to move hers when your talking to her.

Rose looks like her Mommy. When she is awake she is very bright eyed. She loves to stretch and stretch when she wakes up.

Rose loves Mommy to hold her. She also has mastered the pouty face.

I love these girls to death and can't wait to see how much they grow in the next month!

Getting in Gear

Ok it will be 3 months next week since I had the girls, and I've got about 12 pounds I need to lose in order to be back into pre pregnancy weight. Having twins does a number on your body. I was very proud because I only gained the 40 pounds recommended in a twin pregnancy. I read a lot of stories of women gaining much more when pregnant with twins.

So my goal for the next few months is to get back down to where I was if not even lighter. Another goal is to get back into my jeans comfortably. To do that I've been getting taking the girls on a walk every morning. I walk for about 30 minutes. It's not a really brisk walk because of the heat but it's not a stroll either. In the afternoon while the girls are taking their long nap I've started doing a workout from the p90x series that my pirate brother in law made for me. Those workouts kick my butt. Sometimes I just have to look at the tv and laugh, but I'm getting there. Then most nights I'm trying to run at least 2 miles. My goal is to get to 3 miles by Sept and run the Turkey Trot 5K on Thanksgiving...in 30 minutes or less.

It really feels good to be back running, but 9 months of not running really sets you back.

The Thumb

I'm not sure when I started sucking my thumb, but I was 10 years old before I broke the habit. When I was 5 I had an old nightgown that belong to my mom. It was really soft and I called it my gun-gun, don't ask me why, I have no idea. Then the gown disappeared only to be followed with a soft pillowcase. If I got really desperate I would tickle my face with my hair. I'm not sure how I stopped either, but thankfully I did.

Morgan has told me he was not a thumb sucker or a paci user. When we brought the girls home from the hospital I was absolutely against them using pacis. Yeah, that lasted about a week :) But last week I noticed that Kate would take a paci, spit it out, and try to shove her fist in her mouth. Now the girls don't really know they have hands yet. They are starting to grab things that happen to get close to their fist, but the realization that they can control those tiny hands hasn't set in yet. You can really tell that Kate wants the thumb, or finger who knows, but they are staying to close together. I told Morgan it is only a matter of time...it's in her blood. Then yesterday we saw Rose doing the same fist sucking move. Great!! Now I'm going to have two thumb suckers?!? I'm not sure which way to lean, but when they get to be 1 or 2 I can take the paci away. I'll keep you posted on our thumbsucking or not ways.

What's going on with us

The days are flying by and if I don't stop and write it all down I'll forget what's going on. The girls are 2 months old and changing everyday! They had their first Forth of July! We helped our church hand out water bottles for a local 4th event. Ok really Morgan helped and I sat with the girls who were there to be cute.

That night we went to Pastor Don's house for some dinner with other friends from church. We had so much fun. Now that we are boring parents we don't get to see our friends, so it was really great to be able to spend some time hanging out with them and getting to know some new people. After dinner was fireworks.

Before the show. The girls did great!

The girls are beginning to spend a lot more time awake these days. I'm having a little trouble figuring out what to do with babies that can't sit up or really play yet, but we're figuring it out. I have some of those Bumbo seats and they just now can sit in them and watch me. We have a game that they sit on one side of the living room and Momma rolls a toy giraffe on wheels to them. They watch that giraffe intently.

My Kate girl in her purple Bumbo

Rosie looking thrilled.

Their thinking "Mom aren't you suppose to be playing not taking pictures.

The biggest things for me happened just yesterday. I left them in the nursery at church for the first time. I would love to tell you all about the sermon I heard, but I was hoping the whole service that my children wouldn't forget who their momma was.

Then to top it off last night was the first night they slept in their crib. They slept all the way from 9:30 to 5:30. A new record. This momma is not so sure how she feels about all this change....except for the more sleep. Love the more sleep!

Welcome Baby Annabel

This pic is of me and my good friend Mary An. You might not notice because of my gigantic baby belly, but she has one too. Mary An was about 5 weeks behind me during our pregnancies. This pic was a week before Rose & Kate were born. But poor Mary An still had 10 make that 11 weeks. Well the wait is over. Mary An and Mike welcomed there sweet b

aby girl Annabel on Tuesday! I don't have pics of her yet, but she is beautiful. I

'm so excited to have someone to share in the experience of being a first time mom. I hope our girls get along together and the twins don't gang up on Annabel.

We love you Ludes family!!

It Just Comes Naturally

Today my babies are 2 months old. I look at their newborn pictures then look at their chubby faces now and can't believe those are the same little girls that changed my life just 2 months ago. Today was their 2 month checkup at the doctor's office. The last time the were there they were 2 weeks old, swimming in there clothes and scrawny at a little over 5 lbs apiece. Today they weighed in both over 10 lbs.

It's funny, I've always heard moms talk about how hard it was when their babies got shots. I just always laughed it off, how hard could it be? HARD!!! As soon as they stuck little Rose my eyes couldn't hold back a few tears. And then unlike a lot of moms I had to go through it again when Kate got stuck.

I learned something in that little office. Those little girls know I'm there mom and they love me more than anyone else in this world. No one had to tell them or teach them, they just know. It's a love so complete and trusting. And it just come naturally to them. I love Morgan with everything in me, but sometimes I doubt him or get mad at him. These girls just know to love me and trust that I'll care for them. Don't they know I wake up every morning scared I'm going to mess up. Don't they know I worry about making it on one income? Nope they just know I'm momma and that means I'm the one that makes them calm. One day they will roll their eyes at me when I make them change their shirt, or they'll get mad when I say they have to wait one more year to wear makeup. But for now I'll enjoy those little girls and their unconditional love.

The Rocking Chair

Picture a little redheaded girl about 6 years old. She has grown up sisters so she has to learn to play by herself. That's okay because she has a very active imagination. In her room her mom lets her have a rocking chair just her size. Her mom tells her that all of her sissies got to play with this rocking chair and now it's her turn. She uses it to play house and school with her Cabbage Patch dolls.

One day she has a friend over to play. Her friend is naughty and talks the redhead girl into drawing and writing names on the rocking chair. The girl gets in trouble and has to put up with having ugly markings on the pretty chair. Not only does the chair have writing on it, but then one of the arms comes loose. Luckily her daddy fixes the arm and strips the chair so all the ugly drawings come off. She keeps that chair in her room until she is all grown up and leaves the house.

Now that the little girl is a mommy and has two brand new baby girls she misses that chair. But in a couple of days that rocking chair is coming to live at her house. Now two sweet little twin girls can grow up playing house and school with that same chair their mommy and aunts played with. And knowing these girls mommy and daddy, it will probably have to be stripped and mended. One day maybe when the little red headed girl turns into a Grandmommy she will still have that rocking chair for her Grandbabies to play in.

A day in the life...

I guess that our day technically starts at anywhere from 1-3 a.m. when the babies are up to eat. I am looking forward to the night when they can sleep through, but there are still little and need to have that middle of the night feeding. They pretty much wake up at 6 am. That's perfect because Morgan loves on them while I make up his lunch then I start to feed them while he gets ready for work. By the time he leaves I've finished feeding them so we get dressed and go for a walk in the neighborhood. 7 am is the only time all day where it's comfortable to walk outside. The girls love it! The "look" and listen to all the things going on outside.

The rest of the morning is mine to clean up while they take a nap. Although sometimes they don't cooperate so they have to be my helpers.

Midday is a time for me to get down on the floor and play with them. I got to say Pandora has a pretty decent children's radio station. We're working on being on tummies more but they either scream or this happens...

The rest of the day is a mixture of housework, naps, feedings, play time, and about 20 something diaper changes. Oh the amount of diapers we go through, sheesh!!

Of course mommy has to take pictures on a regular basis. It's not easy taking self portraits with twins...but you find a way.

Around 4:45 daddy gets home!! I think Mommy looks forward to daddy coming home as much as the sister's do. I do feel bad though because the late afternoon early evening time is one of the fussiest for them. I had to explain to Morgan, it wasn't him it was just the way with babies. They love their daddy very much.

8:30 means time for bath. Sometimes they love it, other times they hate it. 9:00 is the last meal before bed. Then I read a story, say prayers, swaddle and it's bed time by 9:30. I know they might sleep through the night if I put them to bed at 11, but Morgan and I need that hour and a half just us.

We're getting the hang of this parenting twins things. It's a lot of work but as I'm writing this I've got a baby on each side of me on the couch. There sweet coos and gentle breathing remind me of what a tremendous blessing we have.

Sleeping beauties

I've been the girls in one crib for their morning and afternoon naps. I couldn't resist snapping a few pics of these sleeping beauties.

Rose

Kate

This next pic cracked me up. I put them feet to feet but usually leave a pretty wide gap so they don't kick each other awake. I went in to check and saw this....

They had moved and wiggled their way to have their feet touching. Love it!!

Happy Birthday Heather

Today is my sister's birthday! Here are some of my favorite memories about my sister:

1. She was the only person who could french braid my hair.

2. When I was 5 I use to lay in bed and knock on her knock-knock back (back brace)

3. I use to call her He-He

4. When I was 10 and pretty obnoxious her and her newly wed husband took me to Disney World and Universal.

5. She took me to get my ears pierced

6. She let me stay with her a whole month when I was in middle school, who does that?

7. She never treated me like a stupid kid, she always treated me like a sister.

8. I spent 2 wonderful summers with her as a young women getting to know her a new level.

9. She's been so supportive through my adult life, and even though I don't see her very often we are still so close.

10. She's the women I look upto the most and strive to be like.

I love you Heather!!

Birth Story

It's been three weeks since I last blogged, I've been a little busy :) Anyway I thought I would write down our birth story for anyone interested. If you read my last post you'll now a little bit about what we were dealing with. I went in for high blood pressure. It went down, but my platelet count was low. They sent me home Thursday night on strict bed rest. Well Friday morning I got a phone call from my doctor, not her office but actually her. She told me she was a little concerned that the low platelet count could be a sign for pre-eclampsia. I had to go in to triage again for monitoring. I was a little nervous as I waited for Morgan to pick me up. We went ahead and packed all our stuff for the hospital, just in case.

We got to triage and had to wait for what seemed like forever. We were able to go back. They hooked me up to the monitors and drew blood right away. Then it was just a waiting game. While we were waiting my Fetal Medicine doctor I'd been seeing came down to triage to do an ultrasound to check the babies and placentas. He told me that he suggested going ahead with delivery as soon as possible. In his opinion I'd made it to 36 weeks which is pretty good for a twin pregnancy. The babies were at a good weight and with my low placenta count their could potentially be problems with the placentas providing enough nutrients, especially Rose (Baby A) had a "older" placenta...whatever that meant. He gave his opinion to my OB.

The Doctor on call came and saw me and said she was moving me to the Antenatal Floor. This is where you go if you aren't ready to deliver, but have to stay in the hospital. At this point I knew it wouldn't be long til I saw my girls. We got settled in a room and my OB came by to talk to me. She said in her opinion she wanted to wait til I was 37 weeks to deliver which would have been in about 4 days from that point, and she would keep me at the hospital. But, she was waiting to see the lab results to make a final decision. We got settled in our room and tried to relax, but that's not easy to do in a hospital.

Sometime in the afternoon I got a call from my doctor that the lab results weren't abnormal but my platelet count was still low and that we would be delivering that Friday evening around 7:30 or 8:00. The nurse came in to give me my IV, which I hated. She also gave us some pretty hard news. She told us that because my platelet count was low that I would most likely be put under general anesthesia, and Morgan would not be able to be in the room with me. To hear that I would not be awake to see my babies be born and hear their first cries was devastating. And not to have Morgan by my side was too much to handle. I told her I understood, but as soon as she left I lost it. Morgan assured me that the staff knew what was best and he'd make sure I was the first one to hold our girls.

Around 5:30 or 6:00 the doctor on call came by our room. She told us that she had been so busy today. Their were 10 c-sections alone, and she performed about half of them. Because they had been so busy the NICU was full. Since I was delivering pre-term twins they needed to have space available for them if it was needed. We would be having our babies on Saturday morning instead. I was actually glad to hear that. We would be able to have one last solid night of sleep (yeah right). And that day just happened to be the anniversary of when Morgan proposed. April 30th would be an even sweeter day to us now.

So I slept alright that night, but I was up at 4 ready to go. The nurses came by at 5:30 a.m. to get me ready for surgery and we started our way down to the L&D floor. They put us in a room to wait until it was time. Morgan's parents were there to see us, and our pastor came by to pray with us. The emotions were starting already. The doctor came by to check on me and introduce me to the nurse anesthesiologist. He told me we would be doing a spinal block and I would be able to be awake through the surgery!! Yay!! I was so relieved when they handed Morgan a gown for him to wear in the OR. My doctor stopped in to say hello, and then we waited about 30 min. That time was some of the sweetest as Morgan and I spent the last moments just us. We laughed and cried and prayed God would make us the kind of parents He wanted us to be.

I was wheeled by myself back to the OR. I got up on the table to get my spinal block. Very similar to an epidural but it's just a shot. I found it funny when they asked me to hunch over, excuse me have you seen this twin momma belly. I did my best and they gave me the bee sting shot. They told me to tell them if I felt something similar to an electric shock in my back. Yeah, that settled me down! It took a few minutes but he got it in and I almost immediately started to feel heat and numbing sensation in my legs. It wasn't long and I was totally numb from the ribs down.Unfortunally I started gagging from the meds, but the fixed that fast. Morgan came in and it was time to go. The put the sheet up, and I just watched Morgan the whole time. About 10 minutes in I started to feel some tugging in my belly and heard the tinniest little cry I'd ever heard. Baby A was born at 8:01! Morgan went to look at her and I could see her kicking and screaming.While they cleaned her I heard the Doctors laughing. They were getting Baby B out who was breech and they noticed she was trying to climb back inside my uterus. She was comfy in there now that she had so much room. Baby B was born at 8:02! While they were cleaning her up, they brought Baby A over for me to kiss before she went to recovery with her daddy. Baby B had needed aCPAP for a little fluid. After a few minutes they were satisfied and brought her to me to kiss. My babies were born and with their daddy and I was being sewn up. The c-section went great and they wheeled me to the recovery room.

They bathed the girls and that's where I got to hold them and decided who was who. My littlest girl was Baby A. She weighed 5 lb 7 oz and was 17 1/2 in long. She was my Rose Adalie Oliff. Baby B was 6 lb 3 oz and 19 in long. She was my Katherine (KATE) Lela Oliff.

Kate was not quiet as pink as they wanted so they gave her a little oxygen and she got a better color. After about 45 min they decided to take Kate to NICU to monitor her and make sure she was perfect. I got to hold her for a little while then sent her with the doctor for NICU. I wasn't too upset because I knew she would be fine. I got my Rose and we made our way up to our room. The rest of that day is a blur. We made it through our first night and by the next afternoon we had both babies with us and were a family of 4!!

Sometimes I hold these babies and can't believe I have twins. I love them so much and can't imagine being happier then I am right now.

The best sub of my life

So today is Thursday which means it is the day that I visit my OB. I've been going to my OB visits by myself since they pretty much have consisted of the same things; weight check, blood pressure check, check the heartbeats, and ask if I have any questions. But since we are nearing the end Morgan decided he wanted to take me. We were hoping to get a little more info about a date to plan our c section.

We were in the lobby and happened to see a couple that we had a childbirth class with. They were telling us that they were headed to triage due to a high blood pressure. After they left we got called back. I did all my normal check up things and then the nurse took my blood pressure. She grimaced a little and said "Well it's 152 over 80" I don't speak nurse so I asked if that was bad and she said it was a little high. I've had great blood pressure my entire pregnancy so they tell me so I was freaked out something was different.

We went to an exam room and the doctor came in to check the babies. They looked great so she checked my BP again. Still high so she said I'm now on bed rest and also I would be taking a trip to triage to be monitored for a while.

Now I was assured that this was no big deal, I was probably going to be sent home after a few hours, but I was still freaked! We got to the Women's Pavilion and got checked in. After a few minutes we got put in a triage room and I had all kinds of gadgets and whatnots strapped to me. My blood pressure had already started to go down. They drew blood and kept monitoring me for 45 min. I'm so glad Morgan was there or I would have gone crazy. After we were there for a bit I told him I was STARVING but I didn't want him to leave me. He called his m0m and asked her to bring us some lunch. In the meantime I was told my labs came back normal and my BP was going down good. The girls heart rates were super. Harriet got there and had the best sub I've ever eaten. A Jimmy Johns Beach Club, yum! I realized as I was eating it that it was 3:30 and I had nothing since 6:30.

We got discharged and headed home. Now I begin my exhausting bed rest. I'm hoping I don't go stir crazy. But the good news is it will only be for a little more than a week.

Countdown

I decided this week it was time for a countdown. I have loved being pregnant I really have. Some of my favorite things have been

1.Feeling my girls move and being able to see my belly roll around like crazy.

2. Getting the sweet encouragement from complete strangers whenever I'm out and about.

3. Getting spoiled by my sweet husband, family, and friends.

But I've reached that point. If you've had a baby you know what point I mean. I'm done. I just feel like I've got this giant growth on the front of my body that prevents me from doing easy task. I feel tired just from putting dishes in the cabinet. I miss sleeping through the night on my tummy.

Enough complaining, nobody likes to hear that. So I'm 34 weeks and in twin pregnancy my doctor has told me I won't go past 38 weeks. Since my weeks start on Tuesdays that means I have just a little over 3 weeks left!! 38 weeks for me would mean I will have 2 babies by May 10 at least.

We are still hoping to have a regular labor and delivery, but Baby B decided to move sideways again. We go again on Monday and I'm hoping to see her little head down, but if not I'm ok with having to have a c-section. Whatever gets my babies here the safest way possible. I'm nervous because I've never really had any surgery before, but I know it's so routine now that there is not much to worry about. Even still I'd much rather be able to deliver my babies without a section.

So what's left to do before our lil ladies come into our world? Actually not that much. We've been so blessed by family and friends We've been able to get our cribs, car seats, stroller, high chairs, bouncy seats, breast pump and mattresses as gifts. Not to mention the countless diapers, sheets, cute outfits and tons of other misc gifts. Each one has meant so much to us. I've got my eye on a special nursing pillow by My Brest Friend that is made for twins. We need to pick up a baby swing, and just a few little things here and there. There will probably be things that come up, but all the "big" items are taken care of for now.

So this week I'm focusing on starting to pack our hospital bags, just in case. We might also put in the car seats so that can be taken care of. Ok think my ramblings are over for now. Time to eat some chicken wings!!

What a year it's been

Last year at this time I was going through what has probably been the hardest time in my life so far. Most of you know our story, but on April 1st of last year we found out that our baby had passed away at 11 weeks gustation. Having a miscarriage is one of the most emotionally painful experiences a woman can have. Even though I never saw or held that baby, my whole heart loved it. On April 7th, I had a D&C at the hospital and that was both the harsh reality that our baby was gone, but also our first steps in moving on. Unless you've been through that type of loss yourself there is no way to understand what someone who has had a miscarriage is feeling. I had a lot of sadness, hopelessness, and anger. But I also had a lot of love. It helped us so much to know there were people across the country praying for us. It's been a year, and sometime that pain is still fresh. Even though God has blessed us with twin girls who will be here soon, I can't help but think of the baby I didn't get to meet. Was it a boy or girl? What would it look like or act like. These are things I can't know now, but what a blessing to know that one day God will introduce me to this precious child and I'll finally be able to hold them. I may never understand why I never got to see them, but I know God has given that sweet baby more love then I ever could. God has brought us from the most intense pain to unspeakable joy. Morgan and I only have a few short weeks before we will be holding our two little girls. We had wonderful news Monday that both babies were in a head down position, making my chances for a vaginal birth a lot more likely. I still have been able to work and get around without bed rest which is a blessing. Baby A is a little more skinny then we would like so hopefully she'll fatten up in these next few weeks. I just can't believe how far we've come. I know that each April I'll remember the hardship we had to go through, but as each year passes it will become easier and easier.

Another Nursery Project

So it's pretty popular now to have a baby's name above their crib. Something cute that goes with the theme of the room. Well I didn't want my baby girls to be any different. So I thought about what I wanted to do and made a run to Michaels. We picked up some 9" letters that happened to be white.

Here are the letters for Rose,

and Kate!

We looked at several types of letters they had there, but these white ones where the only ones the size I wanted. I took probably too long walking back and forth trying to decide. The white ones were a little pricier, but just what I wanted. Then I was struck by a brilliant idea. Instead of buying fabric for Mod Podge, how about...

Just some pink spray paint and white yard sale stickers, about 3/4 inch in diameter. We're making pock a dots! I found this paint at Wal-mart and loved the color. Not to babyfied so they can keep the letters for awhile. I think it was called Watermelon.

So step one was to put the white stickers randomly on the letters. I did this part because bless his heart, Morgan is too OCD to adhere to randomness. Also I can't get near the spray paint so this is the only real job I could do.

Step two, Morgan taped up the sides. This wasn't necessary but we liked the idea of the sides remaining white while the top was painted.

Step three, after everything is taped up Morgan took the letters to the garage to apply the spray paint. We didn't mess with any primer. I didn't get a picture of the next step.

Step four was to peel the tape off the sides and carefully peel the stickers off the front. I think Morgan used a razor blade to start the stickers. I didn't watch because I was too nervous something would be messed up. I also enjoyed the anticipation of waiting to see the finished project.

Ta-Da!! Here is the one for Rose. I love how simple it looks and the pink really blends well with the lavender walls.

And here is Kate's. Oh the letters had holes to hang them from on the back. This was another Morgan job because I'm not really known for hanging things up straight. Also I have a giant belly that gets between me and the wall.

And here is what they both look like. I have some more things to get done in the nursery but more things are finished then need to get done! Less then 6 weeks till we have two baby girls to enjoy this room!!

You know you're loved when...

.....Your husband doesn't make fun of you when you come home from the grocery store crying for no reason.

.....Your husband will rub your ugly swollen feet every night even if a big belly has prevented you from shaving your legs for awhile.

.....Your husband helps make dinner every night even if he's been working hard all day, or at least takes you to Chick-fil-a.

.....Your husband gets excited when you tell him about a great deal on diapers you got online.

.....Your husband tucks you in every night and kisses you then the belly that is holding his babies.

And the clincher that lets you know you are loved....

.....Your husband goes to childbirth classes with you where on the first night they show "the film" of a live birth and still wants to attend the rest of the class, and talks with you about the stuff you learned, and practices breathing with you only making you giggle a little bit in class, and lets you know he is going to be right there with you when your babies make their appearance.

Yep, that's how I know I'm loved!

My pretty girls

Okay so Morgan has asked that I not put our ultrasound pics on Facebook. Something about showing my uterus or something like that. Anyway instead I've put a few on my little blog. We went to the Fetal Medicine doctor on Monday. They have a higher lever ultrasound and do all kind of measurements. When we went there for the first time at 12 weeks the tech told me "You'll get so tired of ultrasounds by the time your done!" I didn't believe her. Well while I'm not tired of seeing my sweet baby girls, after this trip I was tired of the ultrasound itself. My belly was poked and pushed on so much I felt sore afterwards. It was worth it though. Both girls are doing great and getting close to 3 lbs a piece. That's almost 6 lbs. of baby!! When the doctor left the tech very quickly got out the 4D wand and took a few freebie shots for us. Just the faces but here they are.

This is baby B who is up top. She is my mover and kicker. She is also the one who likes her personal space and gave us a hard time showing us her privates at 19 weeks.

See told you Baby B was shy. This was right after the first pic of her and she let us know she wanted privacy by putting her arm in front of her face! I'm thinking this may be my stubborn redhead. She still is holding out on getting head down for us.

This is Baby A, the one on the bottom. She's a good little girl already in a head down position. I'm thinking she has a little bit of an Oliff nose on her.

Another of Baby A's face....oh wait, also a little Baby B foot too. These girls are in pretty tight quarters and apparently already pushing and shoving each other. Or fighting for attention. Either way, it made for a cute pic. The tech assured me that even though we couldn't see it they were separated by a membrane so little girl A wasn't really getting kicked by her sister.

I can't wait to meet my little peanuts!!

Ramblings

Last Thursday my good friend Kara had her sweet little boy, Egan. We went and saw mom, dad, and baby that night. On the way there I made Morgan stop to get some flowers. I really did want to give Kara some flowers, but Morgan also realized that I didn't want to go into the Women's Center of the hospital having people think I was there to deliver! It was great to hold this brand new baby boy and feel my little girls kicking in my own belly (jealous of mommy holding another baby, perhaps?)

Anyway, after we left I started my own little mental freak out realizing our girls will be here in less then 2 months! There is so much to do, so much left to get, and so much to learn in a very short amount of time. I've been having to remind myself everyday to not worry. Ususally I'm not a worrier, but being pregnant has changed that.

I worry about their delivery - A cesearen isn't guarenteed but it is a higher chance. I keep talking to them everyday asking them if they could please go ahead and get head down for mommy. I also want them to bake as long as they can so we don't have to have any NICU time. But I'm thankful that our hospital has that facility if we need it.

I worry about bringing them home and figuring out what to do with them all day. I know babies have to have schedules, but do they determine it or me? There is so much I don't know about raising and caring for infants, and I know I'll learn, but it's scary to realize two little humans will be realing on me to care for them!

I worry about feeding them. I really want to be able to nurse my babies, but how do you feed two babies? Will I be topless for the first 6 months of their lives? Will my body produce enough milk to feed 2 kids? Will I even be able to do it?

I worry about our finances. Right now we are really not sure what we are going to do. I've always had the desire to be a stay at home mom. I've always assumed that's what I would do when I had babies. But we live in very hard times now. If I were to leave my job that would be great financially difficulty for us. If I were to go back to work, we'd be paying a fortune in childcare and I'd be heartbroken everyday leaving my two sweet babies. This is probably the number one worry I struggle with the most. I catch myself crying on a daily basis not knowing what the future holds. What I do know is that God has a plan, He's just waiting a little longer to show us what it is. I prayed daily after loosing our other babies that God would send us a child and He sent us 2! I trust that He will provide a way for me to stay home and raise our children. I just have to be patient and wait on His timing.

So, during your busy day, if you happen to think about it, pray for me. Pray that God would calm my nerves. Easy my worry. Let me know He's in control. Thanks!

My "new" mirror

On Saturday we went to Woodville and stopped by Grandma Joyce's house to say hello. Somehow or other Morgan left her garage with this...ahem...."vintage mirror.

Now nothing against Grandma Joyce's taste, but I wasn't really feeling this mirror. I just didn't know what we were going to do with it. But, thanks to all the craft blogs I've been following lately an idea struck me for our nursery. So Morgan taped up and covered the mirror and we set to work.
We went to Wal-mart and bought some spray primer for white and some flat white spray paint.
Once we were ready to go, Morgan started applying the primer. Don't worry, I was far away from any paint fumes. Our neighbors recently moved so I went over to their yard and took some pics of their pretty tree.

So after Morgan had applied the primer he let it dry for awhile. Poor guy instead of taking a break he went in and started working on the second coat of paint for the nursery. After working in the nursery for awhile he went back outside and put on the spray paint. Let me tell you it turned out PERFECT!!

So here is the finished product. I still need to clean the mirror really well before hanging it up, but I had to get a picture right away.

I really love how the white just pops out against the lavender walls. I'd almost be inclined to think I got this mirror from Pottery Barn. Okay maybe not, but I'm still proud of our work and think it makes a lovely addition to our very girly room!

I plan on posting more pics of the girls nursery now that the walls are sufficiently painted and we're getting ready to put furniture in its place.

Photo Shoot

My good friend Kara gave me a wonderful gift recently. A couple years ago she started her own little photography business called Pink Shutterbug Photography . She gave us a maternity photo shoot earlier this month, and had the pictures edited and in my hand last week. Oh did I mention she did all this 9 months pregnant!!

Anyway, we met up at Railroad Square here in Tallahassee. For those of you that aren't from here Railroad Square is a local area downtown that houses a bunch of funky eclectic artist and their shops. I admit I'm a total copycat because several of our friends have had pictures taken here. But who cares! I love all the different colors and the murals on the walls. Here are just a few of my favorite pictures from that day. Enjoy!

I guess the cat's out of the bag what are names are planning on being. Named after my 2 grandmas that have passed.

No credit away from Kara, she did the editing and photo, but I did see this idea with the shoes, and it was one that I had to get Kara to do!

Yeah for our twin girls!

I love the manly look of his rough hands holding the sweet little bows of his girls!