What a year it's been

Last year at this time I was going through what has probably been the hardest time in my life so far. Most of you know our story, but on April 1st of last year we found out that our baby had passed away at 11 weeks gustation. Having a miscarriage is one of the most emotionally painful experiences a woman can have. Even though I never saw or held that baby, my whole heart loved it. On April 7th, I had a D&C at the hospital and that was both the harsh reality that our baby was gone, but also our first steps in moving on. Unless you've been through that type of loss yourself there is no way to understand what someone who has had a miscarriage is feeling. I had a lot of sadness, hopelessness, and anger. But I also had a lot of love. It helped us so much to know there were people across the country praying for us. It's been a year, and sometime that pain is still fresh. Even though God has blessed us with twin girls who will be here soon, I can't help but think of the baby I didn't get to meet. Was it a boy or girl? What would it look like or act like. These are things I can't know now, but what a blessing to know that one day God will introduce me to this precious child and I'll finally be able to hold them. I may never understand why I never got to see them, but I know God has given that sweet baby more love then I ever could. God has brought us from the most intense pain to unspeakable joy. Morgan and I only have a few short weeks before we will be holding our two little girls. We had wonderful news Monday that both babies were in a head down position, making my chances for a vaginal birth a lot more likely. I still have been able to work and get around without bed rest which is a blessing. Baby A is a little more skinny then we would like so hopefully she'll fatten up in these next few weeks. I just can't believe how far we've come. I know that each April I'll remember the hardship we had to go through, but as each year passes it will become easier and easier.